Articles by Luis

Thank you, Capcom

If it weren’t for Capcom bringing back 2D fighting right, we may not have seen what just might be an awesome rebirth of it’s violent cousin. I mean, who would have thought that leaving 2D fighting physics and classic style gameplay in a 3D environment would have been so hard to pull off? Oh wait. Good luck, WB Games.

Red Dead Redemption – 5/5

[ Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 – Developed by Rockstar San Diego ] Ah, the wild west. We all grew up watching the movies, and watching every other show and cartoon lampoon and pay homage to the very films that actors like Clint Eastwood made famous.  We’ve all played cowboys and Indians, and all wish we had a real horse while doing it. Rockstar allows us to live those dreams in Red Dead Redemption. Red Dead is a story of betrayal and, well, redemption in the old west. You play as John Marston, a retired criminal after he realized that living the life of crime with his posse was useless when your own crew doesn’t even care for you. How so? Try being shot and left for dead during one of your group’s heists. This has opened up John’s eyes and thusly he decided to leave the group, marry, settle down on a ranch, have some kids, and grow old to see his son become a man, and carry on his name and growing ranch. Things go sour as his past catches up with him and the feds start to blackmail him by kidnapping his wife and son. The deal?…

Sounds like Porn

Usually when I or someone else explains games to someone else, the usual response is somewhere along the lines of, “wow, that sounds like Chinese, to me.” Never in my life, however, has someone tried to explain anything to me and have me immediately think of porn – until now. When Marcos ran by today’s script over me, I laughed my ass off. When I asked him where he came up with all those crazy terms, he said he didn’t. These words you will read in today’s galleria are, in fact, actual terminology used among the UFC community.

Auto Shut Down

Hi guys. I actually sat here an hour after I was done (3:30am), to think up something fun and witty to put here. Instead, I ended up dozing on and off of sleep. So now, I go to bed. I only leave you with this: Watch this. After you watch this that, frequent this comic. It is amazingly well illustrated, well thought out, funny as hell, and this guy deserves all sorts of popularity. Get him started! All five of you! GO! You might see me again tomorrow. Maybe not. I’unno.

Review Setup!

So, this section’s been sitting here, rotting away with no content – just like the comic! HAH! That’s self deprecating humor out here, ladies and gents. Anyway, we’ve been trying to come up with some sort of way to rate the games we review. We were thinking about doing it Kotaku style and not even giving numbers out, and just pointing out the pros and cons, but, that’s Kotaku’s thing, and a very good one at that, so we didn’t want to go that route. Then there’s EGMs, or 1-UP now, giving grades. Fuckers. We always talked about that before they did it. It just took us more years to get this site up and running again. Our bad, either way. There’s the completely tried and true method of giving it a score from 1 to 10, but everyone and their grandma fucking does it that way. What’s the point of the 1 through 6, anyway, when the majority of your games rated are mostly a 6 through a 10. On top of that, what the fuck is up with the decimal points? “I GIVE THIS GAME A 9.931333!” What is the fucking point of that? So Marcos and I…

It’s like, wow!

Sorry for my grand lateness with bringing up the comic, folks! I was stuck at work this Sunday, and had not finished coloring in this week’s strip by Saturday night. It was actually a pretty terrible week for me, schedule-wise, and with UFC’s release Tuesday, well, let’s just say my week will resemble last week; Tied up beyond belief. As per the subject of this week’s awesomeness, well, without spoiling too much of it, this is practically what happens in Alan Wake, over and over and over again. As my wife put it, this is Spoiler: The Game. Not necessarily in a bad way, mind you, but it somewhat kills the surprise and leaves it to suspense as to when. I’m sure we’ll cover it later. In other news, Red Dead Redemption is the proverbial beez neez. It is one mighty fine production that I currently partake in salivating over. Voice acting, grandeur atmosphere, beautiful visuals, and a hint of belonging that I really haven’t experienced too much in video games. As the game moves on, you just sit there, hearing every word, every syllable, every possible – humanly possible – way of speaking politely, the way the sentences are…

This is how you advertise!

And this is why Sony’s finally getting ahead in the game again. Or getting close, anyway. At least in the US. Now just keep bringing out even more quality games, Sony, and everything will be on equal grounds!

Get’cher Tweet On

Oh, and we got ourselves a Twitter deal mabob going on. Follow us and we’ll try to do exactly what everyone else does on that thing: tell you absolutely shit about nothin’ and everything. Though we promise not to update you on when we’re taking a dump. … unless I’m on the john, and I’m extremely bored.

The Real Dust Magnet

So, I’m sorry, but is the PSP the most useless handheld system since the Lynx? I mean, the physical movie media support died off, the analog nub sucks, the loading times are horrendous, there are barely any games that come out on it since year one, and when there is a game, about five months later, you learn it’s coming out on PS2 anyway because it just didn’t sell at all on the PSP, even though it was a great game. I firmly believe that most people buy PSPs to hack their firmware and play emulators and of course pirate games. People who don’t buy it for this reason, end up learning about these abilities and go that route anyway. They end up downloading all these crap games for it, and thus never buy them, and only the good and decent ones get bought, thus explaining how they reach “Greatest Hits” stature. Eventually, they find some homebrew stuff and stick with that. Now with the rumor that Konami’s thinkin’ about bringing Metal Gear: Peace Walker to the PS3, whether it be a direct port and download of the PSP version to play through your PS3 or an all out remake…

Tie-yerrrd

Not much from me again, this week, folks. I’m pretty beat with a lot of work to catch up with, both professionally and family orientated. Blah. Energy gone. Want keep playing Street Fighter… OH, I would like to add, May sucks for video games. Oh my god, everything under the sun. This month’s full of releases is like a double edge sword for gamers. You’re fucked if you want to buy these, you’re fucked if you’re dumb enough to miss ONE of these games. Anyway, we know a lot of you enjoyed our Street Fighter comic! (Yes, we know, we bitch about this but we’re totally cool about fireballs from our hands, shaddap). Drop us a line, folks! Don’t be scared! Send me or MarcMan an e-mail. luis at e-diots.net or marcos at e-diots.net. You know where to put those @ signs, you crazy people, you!

Late, but not really a date

Sorry, guys. Strip’ll be a little late this week. Currently enjoying a late birthday evening and some Super Street Fighter 4s, though not exactly at this moment. We’ll get to you guys ASAP, aright?

This post brought to you by the letter, “patience”

When you don’t do what’s true to your heart, at the end of the day, you’ll end up hating yourself more than anything. Splinter Cell: Conviction was awesome-riffic, and by awesome-riffic, I mean that I haven’t beat it yet. Yeah, yeah, I already hear the murmurings coming from the other side of the interwebs. It’s only like a 10 minute long game, yes, I understand. However, I’ve found myself trying to play it old school Fisher style. By this I mean I want to play like the stealthy bad ass he is, and thus the “restart from checkpoint” option in the pause menu gets used a lot in my end. Marcos tells me otherwise, saying he loved the freedom to be a pure bad ass and rip a new hole into everybody he met, only after a botched stealth attempt. I’ve done that a couple of times, sure, but it’s not as satisfying to me. Call me a perfectionist, I guess. No seriously, call me a perfectionist. Shit don’t get done in my eyes until it’s good and ready in my mind. It’s the worst thing one could ever be. Anyway, I should be done with the game by today,…

C2E2R2D2T2

Woop! Sorry for the lack o’ postings on my part, folks. I had an unfortunate family situation literally hours before last Sunday, and then this weekend I’ve been chillin’ in Chicago doin’ C2E2, what I consider the real Comic Con here for Chicago. So far, I’ve been having a blast, and no, I didn’t have a booth setup or anything. I’m just at the con, having some fun. I wasn’t with Marcos, unfortunately, as Marcatious is still knee-deep in Florida and his own day job to try and wiggle out vacation time. Hmm. Maybe next time? That’d be awesome. As for today’s strip? I wouldn’t necessarily call it tragic, but the way they always go at it with the puzzle this and puzzle that, well, they had it comin’. If you were at the con, (all 5 of you reading this), I wasn’t at a booth or anything. It’s still too early for us for that, though I would love to do it in some point in time in the future. It’s not to say, “OH MY GOD WE’RE HUGE BWAHAHA”, (which will be far, FAR from it), but honestly I would love to put up a booth at one…

Seriously, No One Cares

It’s a pretty general consensus among the gaming community and anyone who uses or knows anyone that uses Facebook. This kid might prove us wrong, though.

Finally the Comeback Kid?

Before all you Sony fanboys start to get butthurt by this week’s strip, let me just solidify to you that it is, indeed, satire, (with a link to the definition of it if you don’t know what that means), and both Marcboy and I love our PS3s. We’ve been getting a lot of use out of it lately, and it’s only recently that we realized that, hey, our PS3 is getting a lot of use lately. Shit, half the time I only realized I wasn’t playing my 360 when I had to get up and turn the thing off. I would end up flabbergasted, with a quaint smirk on my face, satisfied that my PS3 was capable of good, and not just exist to be a ginormous Blu-ray player and paperweight. It is something we have been talking about this first part of the year. The Playstation 3 is kicking some serious ass, and has had one hell of a start this year. Almost as if the Playstation 3 got up and grabbed us by the throat and bellowed at us to pay attention to him, that he wasn’t going to sit idly by and take this shit anymore, and…

Daddy likes a beating

Neither Marcos or I have beaten Mega Man 10, and for good fucking reason. Granted, I’ve heard from many that it’s “not as hard as 9” and that Capcom made it easier because people whined too much about Mega Man 9’s difficulty, however, this does not stop this game from being harder then all hell itself. I beat 9, and it took me a week. I died a lot. I really do think I cried – I can’t remember; those are harsh memories I’m trying to forget. Either way, after beating 9, it was a culmination of joy and rage, as I do believe I even smack talked to the game itself, which unfortunately my poor TV got the brunt force of it all. As for 10, the lack of time currently in my hands has denied me my enjoyment of this game, what with other games, such as God of War III, having gotten in the way. Needless to say, that time will be soon, seeing as I destroyed that game last Sunday. May I just say that Sony Santa Monica studios totally had me wet the entire time I was playing this game. So wet, that it put…

So Much Gaming, So Little Time

Oh, Sonic & Sega All-Star Racing, what a nice little surprise you were. I dare say you’re a better game than Mario Kart due to the fact that you are much more fair than Mario Kart. It also saddens me that this is probably the funnest Sonic game I’ve played since… well, we’ll just say, “a long time”. So, as my colleague has already pointed out, we’re only in March and there have already been a multitude of games out to destroy our wallets and bank accounts. Just now, I’m in the middle of beating God of War III – which is totally titillating, to say the least – and this is as I was just shy of not conquering Bayonetta – an almost equally titillating game, with absolutely no pun intended. Yes, that’s right. The game that released in… January, I believe, I just now had the chance to run through it, and this was purely baby-steps, mind you, as I also had a hand in trying out some Darksiders, some MLB 10 the Show, a good amount of Tatsunoko VS Capcom, Final Fantasy XIII, and, in light of the start of the Rock Band Network, some more Rockband…

Pokehell

The entire fact that you’re the Big Daddy now – Mr. Bubbles – was something that was supposed to win me over. I’m saving my little sisters now, and we’re gonna get the hell out of here safe and sound. I’ve yet to play it, though my wife, Stacy, has started tearing through it. I’ve even yet to finish the first one, and I want to. I really do. Something about the game doesn’t call back out to me, though. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t beat a Big Daddy with any sort of ease. It could also be the inkling feeling that I’m being cheap by respawning about half a dozen times in order to slowly chip away at the big towering monstrosities of walking metal; I’m sure the drill doesn’t help. More or less, it could also wane on me to continue merely for the fact that, after having to suffer through every broken bone in my body, to defeat three Daddy’s back to back, that as I turn around to find the little sister so I may ravage away at it’s precious, delicious Adam, I see her ass climbing through the wretched hole! That damn hole…

Sound Off

Thanks for the good times, buddy. So, what the hell happened this last week, kiddies? PS3s died for close to 48 hours starting on Sunday, Activision proves to everyone in the gaming community, from both gamers and game-journalists alike, that they are all about milking the money – not that we didn’t already get the message when they took over Guitar Hero – by firing Infintiy Ward founders Jason West and Vince Zamp… that other guy with the hard last name – we’ll call him Zampy – due to “insubordination”, Mega Man 10 released and is as hard as its brethren before it, Rock Band Network went live with an even more frantically growing music library, Major League Baseball 2k10 released to modest and positive outlooks and seems to have saved itself by hanging on a thread, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 released to wide appeal and praise and many calling it the closest thing to taking the Modern Warfare throne. Oh, and Portal 2 has been officially announced through the new issue of Game Informer! All is well. It’s been, what, a little over two years, right? I should be pissed off that there is still no word about…

Starting Over

Welp, we’re back, and we’re slowly moving back in. Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to sound like we’ve been here forever. I mean, we have been, since 2001, actually. Except since 2006 or so all you’ve seen is this: That’s what’s called a place-holder. That’s right, I’ve been paying for an empty server and useless domain for the past four years… well, six if you count the fact that our last active strip was in May of 2004. What? I sound bitter, you say? No, no, merely stating the facts, my friends. We’ve been wanting to get up and get this site going again, get our ideas out to you, our fan(s), and have you laughing. Needless to say, unlike the other countless webcomics out there, we weren’t necessarily ready to get going again, especially not when the artist and web designer now has a house, a wife, and a 45+ hour job to tend to. As for Marcos, well, he’s been pushing me to get back to it since, uh, since we stopped. The passion’s always been there for me; the ambition and the constant notion of failure kept eating away at me. Thankfully, I’ve kept drawing over the…