Pokehell
March 14th, 2010 |The entire fact that you’re the Big Daddy now – Mr. Bubbles – was something that was supposed to win me over. I’m saving my little sisters now, and we’re gonna get the hell out of here safe and sound. I’ve yet to play it, though my wife, Stacy, has started tearing through it. I’ve even yet to finish the first one, and I want to. I really do. Something about the game doesn’t call back out to me, though. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t beat a Big Daddy with any sort of ease. It could also be the inkling feeling that I’m being cheap by respawning about half a dozen times in order to slowly chip away at the big towering monstrosities of walking metal; I’m sure the drill doesn’t help. More or less, it could also wane on me to continue merely for the fact that, after having to suffer through every broken bone in my body, to defeat three Daddy’s back to back, that as I turn around to find the little sister so I may ravage away at it’s precious, delicious Adam, I see her ass climbing through the wretched hole! That damn hole that just sucks away my prize. Fuck the Big Daddy’s, fuck Andrew Ryan – that hole is my enemy.
So, today’s the release day of Pokemon Hear-Gold and Soul-Silver, and boy am I dreading it. For, you see, I work at a video game store, and these days are… well, to say it’s anything short of “hell” would be undercutting it. The store will be packed, wall to wall with little kids buying their Pokemans, clueless moms and dads buying Pokemans for their kids, and your occasional teen to twenties-some-odd gamer who grew up with Pokemon and know how to act in public by now and show their interest in this very big cultural, worldwide hit, in a reasonable fashion. I’ll get umpteen million questions about a game I don’t play and only know enough through Marcos and my wife, get thrown at least a thousand different Pokemon names that I don’t know how to pronounce let alone remember for any sort of “rapping”, I will hear the line, “I just don’t get this stuff”, with every parent that comes in this day, and as much as I prefer getting the teens and twenty-somes in my stores, they’ll congregate near the door or some other heavy traffic area of the small and quaint little shoppe and clog everything up with their banter and odd references to internet memes.
In public.
I’m pretty sure Marcos’ll be talking about the Pokemans today. I could never get into it. I never had a Gameboy growing up so that was one era of gaming that completely flew by me. My introduction to the entire Pokemon craze was the show, and I thought it was the lamest shit ever that they made a game about the show, since, y’know, those always suck, no matter what age you are. I was later told I was wrong, and proven wrong, by the instant craze; however, I did not care. I had a Game Gear, bitch – six double-A batteries be damned. I had the fucking rechargeable battery kit, and I was part of the next level.